Avokados

Ahhhhh...test tomorrow. This is going to have to be a quicky. I have to make borscht and study.

My goal is to get a 100% on the exam and surprise my teacher. The other day I got all the answers correct on a project and her exact words were "wow, a real surprise". I felt like a little kid who had just gotten a sticker.

Avocados, avocados, everywhere you look on this kibbutz there are avokados (ulpan spelling). South Africans call them avos. My friends are working in the avocado fields and stuff their pockets at the end of each day. We eat avocados all the time. I have two ripening in a paper bag in my room and another one was in my purse and, of course, exploded all over my machberet (notebook). It dried before i noticed and so I turned it into a pretty picture. I am going to send the idea to Martha Stewart..."avoart".

Sunday night was Erev pitot...pita night. It was a celebration of our successfully completing one month of ulpan. We baked pita in an oven outside our schoolhouse. We sat on rugs on the ground and stuffed our faces with fresh baked pita. Some of us...me...ate the pita dough without cooking it first because I was impatient. A stomach ache and really gnarly burps immediately followed. The next day, however, I found two shekels on the ground and I felt better. I used the two shekels to buy a bottle of orange nailpolish with glitter specks in it. Then I REALLY felt better.

Also on Sunday, we got to visit the kibbutz costume collection. The collection is extensive and is set up for Purim in the kibbutz bomb shelter/synagogue. It was like a thrift store except we didn't have to pay for anything. There is an honor code that you return what you take when Purim is over. I think i mentioned before that the theme for Purim is "cowboys and Indians". I had already bought a cheap 20 shekel cowboy hat and so I only picked out a few accessories...including a gun holster. I then went to the kolbo and bought a noisemaker which I put into my holster. It's a perfect fit and will come in handy.

This week has been trouble. There is no work in the madan and so I have been temporarily relocated. This week I am working in the kitchen. There is only one word that could accurately express my feelings about this...ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

On Sunday I fried French fries for 2 hours. Yesterday was fun because I made pizza. Today I cleaned all day. I washed pots and mopped the floor and wiped up salmonella blood juice. One good thing about working in the kitchen is that I use conversational SO MUCH more. At the madan it is easy to get by without talking very much. I have a lot of friends there so usually we are either speaking English or they are laughing at my American accent.

There is another reason why this week has been trouble...on Saturday I flushed my phone down the toilet. Justin had so graciously let me use his old iPhone 3. He worked really hard, before I left, to jail break and unlock the phone so that i could use it with my Israeli sim card. Now, it is dead. When I realized where my phone was, and that I had to somehow get it out, all I could do was laugh. After, I googled "I just dropped my iPhone in the toilet" and the #1 suggestion was to put it in a closed bag of uncooked rice. So currently it is submerged in a bag of uncooked rice. Anyone with any ideas or suggestions of how to save the phone, please share.

Ok. Friends are bugging me to eat dinner and so is my stomach. I love you all.

With undying love for washed up movie stars, girl bikes (there's no such thing), band aids, and milk foam...

I respectfully remain,

J. Michael Hess Webber