Yabba-dabba don't

Today, I got poop on my arm...and this time it wasn't fish poop... (you'll have to read on to hear more)

Dan and I are on a trip. Yesterday we caught a bus to Hadera, rented a car from a wonderful woman named Jaquelin, and drove to the Kinneret.

We are booked, for two nights, at the Tiberius Hostel in...Tiberius. In our room there are two sets of bunk beds.  Dan and I have one and the other is being shared by two Australians. Both are very friendly.  The four of us share a bathroom.

One of our bunkmates is an Australian of Indian descent, named Anil.  Anil smokes A LOT of cigarettes and seems to have an affinity for canned beer.  I have yet to see him when he is not wearing linen trousers.

The other bunkmate is a middle-aged bearded Australian named Michael.  It has become very clear to me that Michael has not been in Israel very long. I draw this conclusion based entirely upon his bathroom etiquette. Israelis have very specific bathroom habits which are adopted, out of necessity, by anyone who has lived here.

Here are my observations:

1) As I mentioned in a previous post, the Squeegees is a fundamental tool in the Israeli bathroom. Today, after his shower,  Michael had NOT sqeegeed!

2) Every Israeli toilet comes equipped with two flush buttons. One is the #1 button and one is the #2 button. Generally, the #2 button is larger than the #1 button, just to make life simple.  All I'm going to say is that Michael pushed the wrong button.

All around, though, Michael is very very nice.

Moving on...

Tiberius is a city on the western shore of the Kinneret.  It was established in 20 CE and named in honor of the Roman emperor, Tiberius.   Tiberius has been venerated in Judaism since the middle of the 2nd century CE and since the 16th century, it has been considered one of Judaism's four holy cities, along with Jerusalem, Hebron, and Tzfat.  Now...Tiberius is a tourist hub.

We are here through Shabbat so there isn't much going on.  The city is a bit of a ghost town. We arrived yesterday around 1pm and explored every inch of the city.  We visited the ancient ruins, went to an abandoned mosque, walked the promenade, played billiards, visited the tomb of Maimonedes (although I couldn't enter in my shorts) and ate cola flavored blow pops.

Mount of Beatitudes

Today we hit the road around 9am and drove north around the western edge of the lake. Our first stop was the Mount of Beatitudes, on the northwestern shore of the Kinneret. This is the supposed spot from which Jesus delivered the Sermon on the Mount. Again I was in shorts (it was 90 degrees) and so I wasn't allowed into the shrine...the grounds were beautiful though.  

We stopped next at the Gadot Lookout, took some awesome pictures, and then hit our original destination...the Dvora Waterfall on the Gilaboon river. We hiked...and hiked...and hiked.  To me, as an American from the east coast, the trail was surprisingly treacherous...scaling rock piles, wading through rivers, and scaling cliffs, in order to move ahead.   However, while I was starting to laugh uncontrollably from sun exposure and exhaustion, Israeli families (teeming with little children in Tevas) passed me on their "leisurely stroll" with picnic lunches on their backs. The views of the Hula Valley were unbelievable.

At one point Dan made a brilliant observation.  He said, "Man, Israel really makes you work for the awesome scenery. It not like you just walk down a little asphalt path and BAM...a pretty picture.  Nope, if you want it, you have to work for it, dammit".  .

I think this same thing applies to Israeli people. I have found that you can't expect to walk into a situation and feel surrounded by friends. You have to prove yourself to Israelis. You have to work for friendship and companionship. But once you get it, it is so very worth the effort.  

Now for my poop story...

Dan and I took a break from hiking to wade in a stream that looked like it was straight out of the Garden of Eden.  Vines of pink flowers hung from a cliff face and bamboo shaded the water.  It was paradise.  We left our shoes and water bottles on a boulder in the middle of the stream.  When we decided to press ahead, we put on our shoes, picked up our water bottles and started to walk.  Five minutes later, we started to notice a very pungent poopish smell.  Dan realized that the smell was coming from the bottom of his water bottle...and it was poop. Someone had pooped on the rock and he had set his bottle in it!  Then I realized I had poop on my arm...I had smeared my arm in human poop! Mmmmm.

Which reminds me of a quick note on Israelis:
When Israelis are going on a day trip, they never leave the house without a roll of toilet paper...just in case.  They must learn this in the army.  I think I am going to adopt this practice.

All-in-all, Dan and I walked about 10 kilometers.  At the end of the trail there was an ice cream truck.  We each ate a popsicle.

Now, we are sitting in the hostel lobby drinking wine and watching the Munich/Chelsea game with old men...a glorious day from start to finish.

With undying love for Firehook mediterranean crackers, DJ Flula, peacocks, and sparrows.

I humbly remain,
J. Michael Hess Webber